It's A Conspiracy
by Bomb-O-Maniac
Summary: Demon's have been unleashed on the Ninja villages by the thousands! With the return of his sensei and refugees from his homeland coming in - will the over worked Iruka-sensei and company survive Konoha's impending doom?
1. Default Chapter

**It's a conspiracy**

**By: Bomb-O-Maniac**

**Beta: Angel Weasel-Woman**

**-**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto - I own Washitaka and company.**

**-**

**-**

They're out to get me.

I swear it.

It's grating down on my nerves rather quickly. Why can't they just leave me alone?

That's all I want. Peace, and some quiet, too. Scratch that.

Make it a lot of quiet.

A HELL of a lot of quiet at that.

Damn it.

I don't want to grade paaaapeerrrrsss…

A twenty-five-year-old dark brown haired man groaned and leaned back in his chair. He stared at the ceiling. '_We really should get a fan installed in here…'_ he thought idly before righting himself and staring down at stacks of un-graded papers. Large stacks of papers. HUMUNGUS stacks of papers. Stacks of papers SO LARGE that they made Tsunade-sama's boobies really, really small in comparison.

The teacher sighed and stretched his arms in the air. He twisted his neck and was rewarded with a few loud pops. The pressure released and Iruka felt a bit better than before. Leaning back once more in his chair, he shut his eyes and yawned. A nap sounded good about now. It wouldn't hurt to catch a little zzz's….

"_Zzzzz…" _

Genma stopped walking and looked around. What the hell? He looked around. Where was that noise coming from? It sounded like something… someone… was enjoying the peaceful after school hours to the maximum. He chewed his everlasting toothpick thoughtfully. Who could it be?

"_Zzzzz…"_

Hmm… It was most likely some poor overworked newbie. Heh heh heh…. That or it was Kurenai-sensei enjoying her day off. Maybe even Kotetsu. Or, dare he think it, the greatest chuunin in Konoha, Iruka-sensei? _'Now there's a laugh'_ he thought_ 'Iruka wouldn't be caught (dead) sleeping at school…'_

He rounded the corner and stopped (dead). His jaw dropped and the toothpick he'd been chewing for the past so many years nearly fell out.

'_Or not'_

Lo and behold there was Iruka. Leaning back precariously on his chair, feet on desk, mouth open, and teensy bit of drool running down the side of his face.

"_Zzzzz…"_

'_It should be illegal for people to be that cute when they sleep'_ the jounin teacher thought.

Smirking to himself, he wished he had a camera oh, so very badly. Black mail was always a good thing to have… Then he thought about it. Iruka had never wronged the man in any way. In fact, he helped him out a lot with paperwork and missed classes. An all around nice guy and way to damn polite - BUT STILL!

"_Zzzzz…" _

Genma raised an eyebrow as he watched some more. '_He's gunna fall if he keeps sleeping like that' _he thought inwardly. He was a bit worried also. The jounin didn't really want his coworker to fall over. But then, he the chuunin sensei WAS a shinobi; he should be able to keep his balance in his sleep.

"IRUKA-SENSEI!" Anyone and everyone (who wasn't deaf) could hear the overly energetic voice of the overly energetic flying ball of orange named Naruto (apart from Iruka who's deep in sleep). He sighed and figured that he'd probably like to be awake when the kyuubi decided to pounce on him. So Genma, being the oh so very talented (and kind) guy that he is, walked quietly over to Iruka-sensei and tapped him on the shoulder -

WHAM!

And found himself flying through the door, through the wall, and fifty feat away from the building.

Who knew?

"Oooooooooooooooooowee god damn it." he moaned, sat up woozily, and put a hand to his head.

"Woo…a bit dizzy there." Genma muttered to himself, swaying all the while. He then felt hands on his back steadying him.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry! Are you al right Genma-sensei?" It was Iruka's voice that - however distorted it may be - said something. He looked up.

"Oi, Iruka, when'd did you become a quintuplet?" Iruka sweat-dropped. He didn't throw the other teacher that hard did he?

"Erm, I didn't - you're just seeing things, Genma…"

"No, I swear," he reached out and tried to touch one of the imaginary chuunin-sensei's, "They're as real as my head ache!"

"…I'm sure…"

"They are!"

(Iruka really big sweat-drop.)

"Riiight, let's get you back inside now… Come on, up you go…" Iruka put an arm around Genma's torso and slung one of the other teacher's arms around his neck and hung on to it. He stood up, a bit off kilter from the extra weight that was Genma - but otherwise fine.

"I can do it." Genma complained. Iruka nodded. Talking to jounin was like talking to little kids.

(_"Iruka-sensei! Where are you!" Speaking of little kids - ignoring, ignoring, ignoring….)_

"I'm sure you can - would you like me to let go so you can test that?" He asked and moved fore ward while the other was contemplating his question. The 'other' thought about. Did he really want to try walking on his own while he was still seeing multiple Iruka-sensei's and the while the world seemed to be on an everlasting merry-go-round?

"… yes."

"Too bad."

"Damn teacher…" His mutter was not unlike a sulky preteen's.

"Iruka-sensei! There you are! What happened?" Naruto asked loudly.

"Oh nothing…"

"Are you sure?" Naruto stared at him in a manner that suggested he didn't believe Iruka one bit.

"Quite positive Naruto."

"Doesn't look like 'nothing'." Drawled a new voice. "What happened, sensei?"

"Hello Kakashi-sensei." Iruka deadpanned.

"Ah! Kakashi! I have some advice to give you - or all three of you - eh, did your mother know you were a triplet?"

"Erm…"

"No, no that's not what I wanted to say… Now listen closely, Kakashi…" Kakashi seemed to not be paying any attention at all - in fact, he was reading his famous porno **-cough- **I mean romance book. "KAKASHI!"

"What!"

"Pay attention!"

"But I am!"

"ARGH! Gimme that!" Genma snatched the 'romance' book away from the other jounin and held it hostage. He's HEALED! WOOT! Wouldn't ya know it? XDD

"Hey!"

"Now will you pay attention?"

Kakashi pouted - even if you really can't see it underneath his mask. But we all know that it's there right? Right. Of course you do.

"Alright now, head my words you idiot," Genma poked him in the chest. "Never, under any circumstances, disturb a sleeping chuunin from his sleep. You're liable to get yourself thrown through a wall or two." He poked him in the chest again twice. Kakashi raised an eyebrow and looked at the now empty place that had been filled with Iruka. He and

Naruto must have taken off when they weren't looking.

"He threw you?" the copy nin asked curiously.

"Didn't mean it - I guess I just surprised him." Genma shrugged his shoulders and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Damn, now I can't remember what I was doing before I tried to wake him up…oh yea! Black mail! But I didn't have a camera, damn it, I never have a camera when I need it."

"Do you even own a camera?"

"Yes!"

"It's a disposable one isn't it?"

"Well, duh!"

* * *

Not to far from the hidden village we all know and love (Konoha you dolts) a tall man with a long, shaggy, salt and pepper colored mane sat on a tree branch with his back against the tree trunk. The man's eyes were shut and his chest rose and fell in the rhythm of one deep in sleep.

Or so we're all led to believe that is.

"Snore…"

All right, so maybe he really is asleep…

ANYWAYS!

This man was known as Washitaka and he was a shinobi of the leaf. The metal on his hitai-ate glinted in the sunlight as he shifted in his sleep. 'What is with this new shinobi?' you might be wondering. Well, the truth is, he's a bit weird - but no weirder than the rest of 'em! I think…He left the leaf two years after the nine tails attacked and was sealed away inside Naruto and right after his team entered the chuunin exams and passed. He still thought of his only gennin team every once in a while and wondered how they were doing. Were those insufferable brats even still _alive?_

Not far off into the distance a peregrine falcon screamed, waking the slumbering Washitaka from his sleep.

CRASH!

"**Snore…"**

Or maybe not.

* * *

**Authors Notes: YEA! Me first Naruto fic XDD So if it sucked - oh well!**

**Bomb: -looks around- **

**Murray: What the hell are you doing?**

**Bomb: looking for reviewers...**

**Murray: There are none.**

**Bomb: WHAT! WHY?**

**Furry: Because your story sucked...**

**Washitaka: There's no way in hell that could have sucked - I WAS IN IT! WAHAHAAA!**

**Iruka: Shut up old fart...**

**Washitaka: YOU BRAT! **

REVIEW! OR FACE MY WRATH! MWAHAHAHAAA!

**-Bomb-O-Maniac-**


	2. Washitaka

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto - I own Washitaka and comp. and the word 'confuzzled' XD

Terribly sorry if chapter one got confusing at the end… I even confused myself!

* * *

Washitaka was having the most wonderful dream in the world. He was back at Icharaku, sitting with his gennins, and ordering a few rounds of steaming hot ramen. They had all just come back from a long mission and were all tired out - but that didn't stop the unruly team from pigging out at his wallets expense. There weren't any hookers around, so it really wasn't the best dream, but it was still up there... damn those gennin...

"Shut up dumb ass!"

"Owe! Sakura-Chan! That hurts!"

He could almost imagine their voices now. Them and their bratty voices…

"Hey! There's something over there!"

"EEK! It's a body!"

God damn, did he hate their voices. Especially when he had a hangover, or when he was really tired…

"You think he's alive?"

"I dunno, let's get a stick and poke him with it!"

Washitaka could swear he could hear the pranking wheels of that scarred nosed brats brain turn. He was probably up to something again. Like dumping hot ramen on him, or poking him with a stick… a sharp pointy stick, too...

**Pokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepoke**

"He's not moving Naruto…"

"Yea, Hey! I'm hungry! You think we can eat him?"

Silence reigned.

* * *

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura all gathered around the 'dead' man laying on the ground at the base of a rather large tree. After a period of poking the 'dead' man with a large pointy stick and getting no reaction - the three had abandoned said large pointy stick and were now just staring at the 'dead' man. 

Naruto's stomach growled. He whined.

"I'm hungryyyyyyyyyy…"

Sasuke gave him a 'look' while Sakura bashed him over the head.

The 'dead' man just sat there… looking mighty delicious might I add. Naruto eyed the 'dead' man.

"NOW can I eat him?"

"NO!" Sakura yelled and bashed him over the head again. _"You can't eat that raw! First you have to cook him!"_

Sakura yelled and bashed him over the head again. 

Naruto beamed and Sasuke, well, he just blinked a lot and gave the pink haired girl an odd look.

What the _hell_?

A few moments later, Sakura was preparing a large black cauldron filled with hot broth, spices, herbs, and was currently slicing up a carrot to go in.

Naruto, was having a hell of a time trying to drag the 'dead' man over towards the cauldron.

It wasn't working to well because the 'dead' man's weapons kept on getting caught on something.

Sasuke, who only lit the fire under Sakura's enormous black pot under pain of death, was in a tree, watching, and trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

"Al right Naruto!" Sakura called_. "You can -_

Sakura called

CRASH!

"Oh no! Sasuke! Are you alright!"

Huh?

Sasuke looked around. Oh yea, he'd fallen asleep in the tree. He looked at the ground under him. He must have fallen down or something. Funny, the ground looks so much like…

"GET OFF BASTARD!"

...Naruto.

Sasuke grunted and rolled off the blond. He had to admit though, the blond kyuubi mad one hell of a landing pad that's for sure. He looked around. Sakura was fawning over him (_no surprise there), _Naruto was yelling at him (_You never change dobe)_, and Kakashi was laughing his ass off silently in the tree he had just fallen out of (_You pushed be didn't you? Good for nothing rotten jounin)_.**"Snore."** The four ninja froze and looked around. Kakashi, being the genius that he is, said the first bright thing that popped into his head. And that would be?

"Naruto, go check it out."

Sending Naruto to go check out a potential sleeping bear threat in hopes that the bear could teach him a thing or two about laziness. What else did you expect? Send Sakura out to check on a potential sleeping bear threat in hopes she might 'accidentally' wake it up and be mauled to death? Hey! That's an awesome idea! Mwahahahahaha...

**hits rewind button-**

**-stops-**

**-begins to type once more-**

**-evil laughter is heard in the background-**

**"Snore."** The four ninja froze and looked around. Kakashi, being the genius that he is, said the first bright thing that popped into his head. And that would be?

"Sakura, go check it out."

"WHAT? Why me?"

"Because I said so."

Sakura stormed away through the trees muttering curses that would make a sailor blush. The three waited patiently, or about as patient as you can get if you're Naruto, for a scream of either a pink haired girl being mauled (authoress), pink haired girl calling for help in a desperate (yet sexy) voice (Naruto), just listening (Sasuke), and we probably don't want to know (Kakashi).

"EEK! Oh my god!" Sakura's scream echoed worse than the falcons in the first chapter. "It's a dead guy!"

"EEK! Oh my god! It's a dead guy!"

Hmm… 'I wonder who the damsel in distress is?' The vague thought flitted itself across the still (but only barely this time) sleeping Washitaka's mind.

"_Ah! Sakura-Chan! What's wrong?" _

_"It's a dead guy!"_

_"He doesn't look dead."_

_"That's because he isn't, dobe, look, he's still breathing."_

_"Shut up bastard!"_ By now Washitaka had had enough of the voices and slowly opened his eyes. There stood three gennin. A cute pink haired girl, a blond one that looked like yellow flash guy, and an Itachi look alike. He shut his eyes again, then snapped them back open.

"The hell -!" he sat up a stared at the gennin trio. "Oh my GAWD! It's another Uchiha! NU!" he stood up and began to run in a circle yelling at the top of his lungs. "Oh god! Isn't one psychopath on the loose enough? What did I ever do to deserve this hell? WHY ME? AND WHY THE HELL DOES THAT BLOND KID LOOK SO MUCH LIKE YONDAIME?"

He was by Naruto's side in the space it took to blink. He took a big whiff of his hair.

"You look like Yondaime - but you smell like that dolphin brat! So much ramen! OH THE JOYS OF YOUTH AND THEIR FAST METABOLISM'S - ARGH!"

Kakashi had poofed beside him and clocked him over the head.

"Listen old man-" he began but then stopped because Washitaka had faced him with a solemn look.

"Kakashi! Look how big you've grown!" Washitaka thenglomped the now slightly scared scarecrow. "And I bet you've turned out to be a pervert just like Yondy-chan and your father, haven't you?" He grinned at Kakashi's very confused eye.

"What? You don't recognize me?" Washitaka mused. "Well, I suppose it has been awhile… But really, I didn't think I'd changed that much… Come on!" he waved a hand in Kakashi's face. "HOW CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WASHITAKA! SHEESH!"

Kakashi's eye widened in recognition.

"You!" he spluttered.

"Me!"

"You - Bastard!" Kakashi cried out. "Good too see you!"

"I know! It's good to see me, too!"

Team seven, now thoroughly confuzzledbeyond belief, were even more confused.

"Will someone please tell me what the hell is GOING ON?" Naruto bellowed out. Kakashi turned to his team.

"Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura - this is Washitaka." He introduced the older man. "Washitaka - My one and only gennin team." he said with a hint of pride.

"Yo!" Washitaka raised a hand in greeting.

"Er - Hi?"

"…" (three guesses to who that is )

"Hi!"

"So this is your only gennin team?" Washitaka wrinkled his nose as he looked them over. "Well, at least they don't look any worse than mine…"

"Hey!" _'That's no way to treat you're future Hokage!' _Naruto fumed inwardly.

"…!"

"Hey!" '_WHAAT? CREEPY OLD MAN!'_ inner Sakura breathed fire.

Washitaka ignored the trio.

"So! Kakashi, before you start telling me everything that's happened in Konoha for the past so many years - would you mind leading the way towards the Hokage's office? I gots' to get there quickly." he said seriously, carefree and wacky personality disappearing in an instant. "Whoever's charge will want to hear this." Kakashi tilted his head to the side.

"This way." and he walked off in the direction of Konohagakure

****

Authors notes:

Umm… Riiight…

That wasn't too confuzzling was it? I hope not. In the begining, stuff in italics was what they were hearing in dreams - or something...

Next chapter we'll learn more about Washitaka, getting to Konoha, and a few inklings (or more) about what he has for the Hokage.

I told you he was weird ;;;

Bomb-O-Maniac


	3. Sleep Induced

**Chapter Three**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto - I own Washitaka and comp.**

**-**

**-**

Iruka sighed as he settled down against the base of a tree and surveyed the damaged clearing. He had just finished training and was extremely tired. Yesterday, he had thrown Genma through a wall (not something he wanted to repeat), then he'd gone and catered to Naruto's stomach, and then he'd gone home and slept like the dead. That is, he did until the hokage summoned him.

_**(O)**_

"_Tsunade-sama." A hunter-nin kneeled in front of the Hokage. His dark cloak hiding his features from view, a blue and silver mask in the shape of an animal only found in legends, covered his face._

"_Rauko-san, I have a mission for you." the hunter-nin cocked his head to the side to show he was listening. She continued. _

"_There is a group of criminals, the Tsuki Bandits, that have gotten far out of control. Something needs to be done." The hunter nodded._

"_I understand."_

_**(O)**_

_Two predators surveyed their handiwork. It was a sight to behold. The Tsuki bandits, all forty-two of them, had been slaughtered quickly and ruthlessly. Of the four ANBU that had come along, only one remained - barely. He'd been wounded severely and had to watch the rest of the fight from a tree. The ANBU member had marveled at the grace and speed which the hunters fought with. One of the hunters turned their attention back their wounded comrade while the other went about, systematically burning the bodies and collecting the masks of the fallen ANBU._

_Up in the tree, the blue and silver masked hunter cradled his fallen comrade in his arms. He jumped down to the ground as the other finished his task._

"_Ready?" A nod._

"_Then let us go."_

_**(O)**_

The mission had taken more out of him that Iruka let on - leaving him with even less fuel to run on that day. He'd barely made it through the day with out falling asleep, and had to resort to using the dragons energy to keep awake.

'_Maybe I should move higher up in the tree…' he thought idly. Then he yawned and his eyes drooped. 'Naaah… too lazy…'

* * *

_

"So, Washitaka-san-"Sakura began.

"Sensei." Kakashi corrected.

"Washitaka-sensei," she shot a glare at Kakashi, "how long have you been away from the leaf?" The pink haired girl asked. She'd never seen him before and was curious.

"Well," he held up a few fingers. "The last major, major even I remember was when the Kyuubi attacked." He paused and glanced at the trio - his gaze lasting a bit longer on Naruto that the others. "The next I remember is the chuunin exams. Not very memorable for others - but not me! Oh no! I was the proudest jounin there, dag nabbit. All three of my little brats passed with flying colors - including black and blue!" he grinned as he lost himself in memories. "And then I left, so I guess I've been gone about ten years or so…" he shrugged.

"Why was it memorable for you and not the others?"

Washitaka grinned and put his hands behind his head.

"Because MY gennins kicked all THEIR gennins asses… mwahaha!"

Sakura shook her head and gave him and odd look. One that plainly said she thought he was a bit loose in the head. Washitaka just grinned and continued on walking.

"So…"

While Sasuke listened to the two sensei's and his pink haired teammate chat away happily - Naruto was mourning his stomach, which would surely shrivel away into nothingness before they got back in time for him to go mooch a few bowls of ramen out of Iruka-sensei.

"Thinking of your stomach, boy?" Washitaka's voice cut through the blond Kyuubi's thoughts of certain doom when his stomach decided to make itself known to the public. He clapped his hands over it and whined.

"Huh?" Washitaka just laughed and ruffled his hair.

"Sakura-chan?" the blond asked.

"What?"

"Do you have any food?"

"NO!" she bashed him over the head. "Is your stomach all you think about?"

"Yes!" then he thought a few seconds before adding. "And Iruka-sensei! I think about him, too!" Sakura frowned.

"I'm hurt, don't you think about me too, Naruto?" Kakashi asked, trying to sound vaguely insulted.

"Why would I want to think about a perverted bastard like you!"

"Ah come one, where's the love?" Naruto snorted.

"Not here! That's for sure!"

The copy-nin sighed dramatically.

"I guess this means I'll never be as good as Iruka-sensei, does it?"

"DAMN STRAIT!" Naruto yelled.

"He's got a point…" Sasuke mumbled. Sakura giggled.

"Dido." Kakashi pouted, or it looked like he pouted anyways.

"You're all against me." Washitaka chuckled, and then looked thoughtful.

"Am I right when I assume you're talking about Umino Iruka?" he asked curiously.

"Yea!" Naruto grinned. "He's the greatest! He's cool! And he treats me to ramen, and he's not a huge pervert unlike this creep." He gave a pointed glare at his current sensei, who was giggling into his 'Icha Icha paradise' book.

"And you called him sensei right? A jounin-sensei?"

"Chuunin." Kakashi put in, on eyebrow raised high. "He's an Academy teacher there." Washitaka muttered to himself under his breath.

"That damn brat… Can't do anything with out the right motivation… stupid, lazy, blasted, prank-playing, chibi sized, snot of a ninja…" he growled. "Just wait till I get my hands on him - probably hasn't even tried to take the jounin exam!"

"Hey! Don't call Iruka-sensei that!" Naruto cried out indignantly. The older man huffed.

"Why not?" he said indignantly. "I've known him longer than you have! He is THE laziest ninja in the ENTIRE world - except when he's pranking someone, then you had best run and hide, folks, run and hide…"

"But Iruka-sensei doesn't seem like the type to play pranks on people!" Sakura interjected while Sasuke elbowed Naruto in the stomach to get him to calm down.

"Yea, and I'm sure he doesn't look like the type who would turn Sarutobi into a Gorilla either!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"So… all of you… know… NOTHING… about chibi's past?" the elite jounin received blank stares in response. He raised his eyes to the sky and then back towards the four. "That's a good thing, don't want him corrupting you - especially with that ramen obsession…" Kakashi coughed and looked at the older man incredulously.

"Now there," he said pointing at the orange blur we all know and love named Naruto. "The damage has already been done."

"HEY! WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!"

* * *

**Authors Notes: WOOT! I updated! And so soon, too XD Ah well…**

**Nothing much to say.. Lalalalaa…. I'm sleepy… must… sleeeeeeeeeeep…….**

**Bomb-O-Maniac**


	4. Moon Country

**Chapter Four**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto - I own Washitaka and comp.**

**

* * *

**

_**- The night before -**_

_**- Moon country - Hidden Star village - **_

"_How long do you think?" a woman asked, her short, red-violet hair turned gray in the darkness . She studied the sky. Her companion, a tall, dark complexioned man with his ebony hair in a top not on his head, gazed at the sky also._

"_A few days, give or take." he answered. He looked to the branch next to him. "Ryuu fell asleep again. Should we wake it up?"_

"_Let the brat sleep while he can." she continued to study the sky. "I have a feeling he'll need all the rest he can get." The other nodded, silently agreeing._

"_That ninja guy, Washitaka," he spoke "wonder if he made to Konoha yet."_

"_Lets hope so, it'd be a pain if we got attacked and had to shuttle refugees to an unprepared village." She answered. The woman shifted on her perch to make herself more comfortable. She and the two others were posted on guard duty for the night. It made sense why the counsel chose them for the night watches. But they could only do so many in a row._

"_How much you want to bet that the leaf has never even heard of us before." He said, a trace of amusement laced his tone. The woman snorted._

"_I'm not betting against you, I'd lose somehow, but if they never really have heard of us, then they'll be in for one hell of a surprise once we get there." she laughed a cold laugh. "That is if any of us make it in time." The man scoffed._

"_It'll take more than just a few monster demons to take us down." The woman smiled despite herself._

"_You're right." she said. "What's a few million demons let loose upon the world by an unknown force compared to a few hundred fighters - most of which are already old and senile." The man pouted into the night._

"_You sure know how to ruin a moment, Mi-Chan."_

"_Whatever you say, Fishy." Something in the distance caught her eye. "Mittens is back - and he brought company. Are you sure he's the sneakiest one you can summon?"_

"_Yes." he said dully. "Most dragons are all for mass chaos and destruction when they see an enemy - Mittens is young enough to still know how to be sneaky -" he face faulted somewhat after getting a better look at the small silvery dragon as it streaked towards them. There were four semi-large, vicious looking, very scaly demons after him. " - somewhat."_

_Silently, the two stood upon their respective tree branches. The wind shifted, blowing the stench of the four demons closer to the three, and propelling them on faster._

"_You know, this is sorta like deja-vu." the man chuckled. "Except, we're older and short one Mr. Sea-pig-kun."_

"_Heh, I think Ryuu fills that part well enough. At least…" she smiled. " Well, never mind that. They are - or was - both ramen addicts." _

_The man chuckled._

"_At least Ryuu doesn't ask you to marry him when you have a fight."_

"_Please, don't remind me about that…" a mix between laughter and an exasperated groan. "And I had completely forgotten about those times, too. Damn you, Fish…" _

"_You know you love me." Fish chuckled, then snapped to attention._

"_Get ready," he announced suddenly, effectively cutting off any reply his companion would have made. "Here they come."_

_

* * *

_

**(Present times)**

**(Konoha)**

He was confused.

Iruka always seemed like such a… such a… stick in the mud on many an occasion, and looked the type who truly enjoyed torturing people with his politeness. To Kakashi that is.

So….

Needless to say… Kakashi found it hard to believe that his students former sensei was once a Naruto-esk type of adolescent. Not to mention one daring enough to turn the third into a Gorilla, blackmailing prominent figures anonymously, and causing mass mayhem and chaos on a weekly _**(" 'Monthly, daily - depends on the missions, you know?' to quote the chibi himself." Washitaka had said)** _basis.

His charges seemed to be thinking along the same lines, judging from the looks on their faces.

"But - why would Iruka-sensei do such a thing!" Sakura wailed. Her visions of the kind, caring young man now slightly disturbed.

"Why do orphans and rejects do anything?" Washitaka asked back. Naruto shot the older man a look. He knew the answer. Being an orphan himself, it was kind of hard for him to not know the answer. Sasuke, on the other hand, was having a hard time envisioning the chuunin sensei acting like Naruto. He shuddered as a vision of the dark skinned man decked out all in orange floated in his minds eye.

**-twitch, twitch- **

Disturbing was quite the understatement.

Washitaka, having been away from Konoha ninja's for so long, and being deprived of talking so carelessly and freely for so many years, felt the sudden urge to shout for joy and glomp them all - especially Sasuke, he looked like he needed a good glomp. And he would have too, had he not tripped over that giant tree root just now.

And he calls himself a ninja!

_**(With Iruka)**_

"AAH-CHOO!"

The dolphin was woken up by a particularly comfy sleep. Who knew trees were that soft?

'Someone must be talking about me…'

He sneezed again, and again.

'A lot'

And… how many people did he know liked to talk about him a lot? Kakashi sure didn't… Sarutobi? No, at least, not that much to make him sneeze so hard… His students? Friends? Family? Other teachers? Naruto - mission. Friends - dead. Family - dead, or his parents at least, he wasn't to sure about the rest, though it was the possibility that they were six feet under as well. Teachers? Only good things he hoped…. Eh - not if they were talking about him when he was younger… then it'd be not so good things….

Still feeling as dead tired as he was before, his brain came to the conclusion that sleeping in a bed would be nice, and incidentally a hell of a lot safer… If only he wasn't to lazy. With that thought, he fell back asleep… Against a tree… in the middle of a where ever… conveniently placed the other side of Konoha, and out of the path of his former sensei and company.

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**Reviewers for Chap. 3: **

**Isolde1 - Mwah… Yessss…. XD **

**shinycry - here's more!**

**Authors Notes: Well, that' that chapter. Sorry to the few people who actually read this story for not updating this sooner. -beats up father- My dado never brought home the modem so I couldn't get online all week except at school . **

**-gets down on knees- Puh-leeeeeeease Review! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE?**

**XDDD Now I have to go work on the next chapter, I'm on a roll… I think… O.o**

**Bomb-O-Maniac**


	5. The bad, the worse, the worst news last

**Chapter Five**

**By: Bomb-O-Maniac**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto - I own Washitaka and comp.**

**--------------**

**(With Washitaka and Comp.)**

The five ninja's finally made it to the gates of Konoha. It only took a day… and a half to get there. Walking most of the way, then running the rest when something large, slimy, and smelled worse than… than… well… something really, really, really, smelly attacked and nearly ate them.

"_What the hell is that?" Naruto had screamed as the thing reared before leaping at the blond gennin. Two kunai with explosives tied to them embed themselves into its side. They blew up and sent the thing flying into a nearby tree._

"_That's a demon!" Washitaka shouted as he performed a few hand seals. "Out of the way brat!" That was directed at Sasuke who was frozen in his spot as the thing lifted itself away from the tree and made his way towards its nearest prey - the Uchiha._

_Suddenly there was a large roar, and a huge gale of winds swept the thing into the air. _

"_MOVE! Run damn it!" Washitaka yelled. "Make for Konoha before it lands again!" The old man wasted no time in scooping Naruto up in his arms and sprinted off towards the hidden village. Kakashi with Sakura and Sasuke, hot on his heels._

Washitaka set Naruto down by the gates.

"Later kid - if you happen to see chibi, tell him - well, no, don't tell him I'm here." he grinned. "I want it to be a surprise." he chuckled a tousled the blond kyuubi's hair. With that said he jumped up to the top of the gate and then sprinted off towards the Hokage's office.

"Maa… Why don't you three go home for the rest of the day." Kakashi said. "I'll go turn the report. You can get your pay later - you guys look like shit, and smell pretty bad too.." Sakura wrinkled her nose. She did not smell -

A bird flying over head dropped dead next to team 7.

Alright, maybe she did smell… just a little bit.

* * *

After a day and a half worth of sleep, Iruka still felt dead on his feat, yet much more alive than before. His chakra reserves were mostly back to normal, and the only thing terribly bugging himat the moment wasterrible hunger pains and the soreness of his muscles. 

The chunin sensei's nose twitched (hey, at least that still works, si?). What… was that incredibly horrid stench?

His nose twitched again, it was coming closer…

He looked around as he stretched out his senses. _Where are you…?_

A distant roar and growing louder. Suddenly the stench was overpowering and made his eyes water. He looked up.

"_Shit!"_ Iruka barely had any time to jump out of the way as something fell from the sky and landed in the exact spot were he had just been standing. Dust, dirt, rocks, and other flying debris clouded the air, making it nearly impossible to see. The brown skinned man coughed and backed away as quickly and as carefully as he could, not wanting to get caught if the creature lashed out. Once out of the thick cloud, he jumped into a nearby tree. With swords in hand, forgotten training from his childhood resurfaced in a flash. He smiled grimly at some of the memories that came with them.

It'd been a while since he fought a demon. Time to exercise those past teachings and put them to good use. As the dust settled, Iruka finally got a good look at the demon… thing. It wasn't one he'd ever seen before (and he'd seen quite a few when he was younger) -but then, there were many different types of demons and many different ways to kill them. Ignoring his screaming muscles, he stood up and prepared to attack the demon - until he got another good whiff of the monsters smell.

'_No,'_ he thought_ 'Better not use that technique -Tsunade-sama would kill me for blowing up her country'_

Gas. The thing was made out of flammable materials. Well, that wasn't too bad… He could deal with out using fire. He was more of a water person anyways. He wasn't going to use water though… He wasn't anywhere NEAR an ocean, or sea, or lake… let alone a stream, for gods sake.

Down below the creature trudged about, looking for him. It could probably sense the remnants of his presence down there, but couldn't actually find the real him.

He crouched back down on his branch. What to do.. What to doo…. He could chop it into tiny pieces… Nah… Then an idea hit him. A controlled explosion never hurt anybody - except maybe a few tree spirits and some elves, but who really cares what they think anyways. He unclipped his pouch and took out a roll of wire string. After carefully stringing together some kunai, he stabbed one into the tree he was in, and then leapt around stabbing more kunai into trees so the creature was surrounded.

He landed back on the original branch and tied off the wire circle. Taking a deep breath, the dolphin gathered a up some of his spirit energy and prepared to let loose.

* * *

Tsunade steepled her fingers and stared hard at the man that stood in front of her. 

He was tall man with a mane of salt and pepper, extremely shaggy hair and scruffy beard, a medium build, and a light golden tan from walking in the sun to much. He wore a long hunter green sleeveless coat and a dark gray jounin's outfit underneath along with a purple sash tied around his waist. The blue eyed man gaped at her.

"Damn, who died and made YOU hokage?" Washitaka asked incredulously. He blinked and waved his hand. "Never mind that, but why did they even LET you _near _this position? I mean, why not Jiraiya? At least when he gambles with something - weather it be the lives of his subordinates or money - he doesn't loose." Tsunade clenched her fist tightly while a vein throbbed madly in her forehead. The busty blond hokage growled.

She grabbed the front of his outfit and shook him angrily.

"Listen asshole." she hissed. "I don't give a damn what your opinion is at the moment. Now tell me why the hell you came barging into my office like you own the place." Washitaka placed his hands on her wrists in what was meant to be a placating gesture.

"One, because I thought the new Hokage would be a _tad_ bit more understanding when one of her minions comes running in with terribly important news - that she needs to hear before refugees come flooding in through Konoha's gates and doom befalls her people - _before_ bellowing at the top of her lungs like a drunken cow in heat _while_ waving her twenty-second sake bottle in the air." he paused and glanced at the clock on the wall. "And all before noon, too, I might add."

"Urusai!" a beat. "AND I DIDN'T SOUND LIKE A COW!"

"Well ya' could 'ave fooled me, ya crazy assed drunkard!"

"Bastard, I'll -!"

"Hey! Watch the fists of fury, Blondie! Now do you want to hear my terribly important news, or do you want to watch your city be swamped with refugees before you know it?" That grabbed Tsunade's attention, and she set the older man down none to gently.

"Spill it then, if it's so urgent." she snapped. Washitaka huffed and brushed some dirt away from clothes before answering.

"Something has happened. We're not quite sure how or why just yet…" he said slowly. "But we do know that this is far worse than any threat the sound has dished out and the kyuubi combined. The artifacts that have kept the barriers between the demon world and the human world have disappeared. Gone. Poof. Sayonara Bye, bye." Tsunade's eyes widened as she sat down on the floor in disbelief. This was indeed horrible news. Washitaka crouched down to her eyelevel and continued speaking.

"The largest rift is south of the Moon country. You remember the people of the Moon don't you? Guardians of the barriers and those with the most experience in handling demons. The first on the hit list of any demon to come through.

What we do know is that in the month that that barrier has been open, an army of demons has come through, and they're going to attack the Hoshigakure." He paused and let this information sink in before continuing.

"These people are a proud race, but they know when to ask for help. Their counsel decided to evacuate the Hoshigakure. And they're sending their people here." Tsunade looked up.

"They aren't going to stand and fight?" She asked incredulously. The shaggy haired man sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Many of their people aren't fit for fighting at the moment. They do have the warriors, but not enough. Most are accompanying the refugee caravans, and sending out for allies would be useless. There are, however, a few hard core idiots that are staying on a suicide mission - but I wasn't supposed to tell you that…" he scratched the back of his head. "So! You can kill me now, I guess, if you still want to that is." Tsunade didn't say anything.

"I'll take that as a 'Nooo… I'm not going to slap you today Washitaka, but thanks for offering anyways' and 'Thanks for the valuable Intel. - now I can go prepare for the hard times ahead that I now know are going to come'. You can't gamble this time Tsunade..."

"I need to prepare for this…" she said finally and looked up at him. "When are they coming?" He shrugged.

"Sometime this month."

"Damn." she muttered under her breath. "What are they bringing?"

"Probably just what's light enough to carry."

"How many?"

"Roughly… I'd have to say about a few thousand - give or take those who are most likely to get picked off by rouge demons on their way here."

"So few?"

"There would be more if so many hadn't died already. There was an epidemic not to long ago. Over half the population was wiped out. We think it's related to the barrier incidents. Annnnd some of the people have already headed off towards the sand and a few hidden places they have set up in case of emergencies such as this."

The lady hokage sighed.

"This is just wonderful. Peachy even. We can do this… All we need is… What DO we need?" she laughed. "Lots of luck. That's what we need!"

**_"That's not all you'll need if you plan on living."_** A raspy baritone said.

_**"I agree. Luck is good, but it just doesn't cut it in a situation like this."**_ Quipped a younger, baritone

_**"You can say that again."**_ Murmured a deep bass of a voice.

**_"Luck-"_**

**_"I didn't mean it literally, idiot…"_**

**_"Humph, spoilsport…" _**

The two shinobi whipped around. There standing, no, floating above the ground were three shimmering images. An old man dressed in light blue robes, and leaning on cane; a younger man, about forty or so, decked out in what looked like a blue jounin's uniform minus the vest, but made up for it's loss with random parts of armor covering his person; and finally, a tall, burly man with a mesh shirt, a red gi and sash, red pants, and metal fore arm bands. Tsunade blinked.

Who the hell were these people, and why the hell were they in her office!

_**"Washitaka-san…"**_ said the old man in light blue robes_**. "Why don't you introduce us?" **_

_**"Yes, please do."**_

_**"…"**_

Washitaka closed his gaping mouth and straitened himself out. He smiled.

"Tsukikage, General, Master Garn - meet Tsunade." He gestured towards the confused woman. "The first's granddaughter, and Konoha's current Hokage."

"Hokage-sama - meet the Hoshigakure Counsel."

****

"It's a pleasure to meet you."

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Authors Notes: WOOT! I got pass my goals (2,000 words and an update with in a week!)

XDDDDDDDDD Someone asked for a better description of Washitaka. I put it in there… But if you wanna better or clearer one, you might have to e-mail or IM me (see bio). I drew a picture… but I have no scanner -sweat drops- Maybe the school will let me use there's?

I WAS going to have Iruka and Washitaka meet in this one, but I sorta didn't get to it. Sorry. Instead, you have a nearly crushed Iruka, a smelly gennin team, and lots of boring talk between two old people LOL. Maybe next time they'll meet up with each other.

Maa… How did the Moon Country sound? -sweat drops- I hope I made it sound at least _somewhat_ believable. If not... I'll fix it later...

Okay, Bye bye for now (I need sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep…. Is 1:18 A.M. !)

Bomb-O-Maniac


	6. Wouldn't that be fun

**Chapter Six**

**By: Bomb-O-Maniac**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto - I own Washitaka and comp. Angel Weasel-Woman owns the Zodiac Forest

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**

**FELIZ CINCO DE MAYO!**

**XDDD Happy 5th of May! (Mexican Independance Day - yes, we celebrate foreign holidays where I live) Dude, Mexican Eggrolls taste awesome! XDDD

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**

**_"It really has been a long time since I last saw you child."_** said the floating image of the Tsukikage. **_"You certainly have grown alot since then. Not that I'm complaining - You look so much like your grandmother."_** He smiled in nastalgia. Tsunade frowned.

"Then you must be over at least a hundred years old - "

_**"One hundred and ten."**_

"-!" she sweatdropped. "I'm sorry. You look familiar, but I have no idea who you are." The Tsukikage waved his hand.

_**"That's al right. But putting aside the pleasantries, we have a dillema to discuss."**_

The youngest of the three counsel members spread his hands apart.

**_"A rather large problem."_** he said with a laugh, and then winked at her. **_"But you knew that already didn't you?" _**The burly Master Garn whacked the younger over the head.

**_"Don't mock the Hokage, dumbass."_** he rumbled. The general looked slightly put out, but remained silent anyways. Master Garn continued on.**_ "As you know the barriers between the demon and human worlds have been breached."_**

"Aren't you supposed to make sure that that doesn't happen?" Tsunade snapped. Something glinted in the large man's eyes.

_**"I assure you Hokage, that this result is from no lack of effort on our part."**_

The multi-armored General spoke up again.

**_"Despite how little we may devulge our doings to others, we do not slack out duties. Do not act as if we are a bunch of good for nothing slackers, who sit around drinking sake all day, and frequenting pubs at night." _**he growled. Tsunade shut her mouth with a snap, and had the grace to look guilty.

Washitaka, who had remained silent (and slightly amused at how easily the general had shut the blond up), until now, spoke up.

"As much as I enjoy listening to blondie here get bitched at - that isn't what important at the moment. So if we could please get back to the original matter at hand...?"

**_"A sound Idea."_** the age old ninja murmered. He cleared his throat.**_ "We are not only evacuating the Hoshigakure, but sending out notices to our surrounding settlements as well. They won't be comming directly for Konoha. To be honest, though, many of them are hard headed and prefer to stand and fight that run."_**

The general coughed something that sounded suspisciously like 'Umino'. Which confused the busty Hokage breifly, but then dismissed it with out a second thought.

_**"We willstart the evacuation process later today, after this meeting, and will probably be leaving in groups at a time over the next week."**_

**_"We have to travel throught the tea, or border the sand - depending on the route taken - and not to mention the Zodiac Forest. So it might take a week or two for a caravan to arrive."_** Master Gran continued.

_**"And each caravan will also have at least two or three strike teams with them." **_

"For protection?"

_**"Obviously. Two or three per group probably isn't enough, but it will have to do for now - we're kinda stretched on resources at the moment, and many ar still just hatchlings."**_

_**"Or old and senile."**_

**_"Like you old man?"_** the General jokingly poked the old man in the arm. Faster than anything ANYONE over the age of 100 should have been able to go, the old man whirled on the General and clocked him over the head with his cain.

_**"I'm not senile - just continuously crabby."**_

_**"Ungh... Whatever... I think I need to invest in a helmet..."

* * *

**_

The meeting between the Hoshigakure Counsel and Tsunade had gone on longer than Washitaka had expected, and it was nearly night by the time they finished discussing, planning, and picking on Tsunade. He walked out of the office and building, fully intending on hunting down his former gennin and making his life a living hell, and leaving a very disqueted Hokage-sama behind.

Grinning wildly, he made his way towards Icharuka. Last he knew, that was the chibi's favorte haunt.

Ramen lovers galore in that family. And he would know too, he'd met the Umino's recently on his travels, learned some new and intresting facts about said chibi, got his face busted up by hitting on a demon vessel, and then FINALLY figured out the reason why the chibi said he never wanted to go past chuunin. It was amazing really. He had known that Umino Iruka had not originally started out as a ninja, but as a samurai - but he never knew just how far up in the ranks he was. No wonder he wasn't to adamant at using jutsu's so much...

The salt and pepper haired man shook his head and continued on. No use wondering about the past now. It was all done and over with - but was fun as hell bringing up the subject of miniature hell-raisers that caused over three-fourths the damge at the academy when he attended - re-attended - an academy. Oh yes, he was going to have fun with this. Now if only he could find the brat.

He cackled evilly into the dusk and sprinted off. Maybe if he was lucky, Mizuki would still be around, too.

* * *

Iruka finally dragged himself to the gates of Konoha right before the sun set, only to be stopped by the current guard, who just happened to be everyone's farvorite bandaged ninja, Kotetsu. 

"Hey! Iruka!" the spiky haired ninja called as he jumped down to the other. "You look like shit. What happened?"

Iruka paused, mentally debating wether to tell the truth (that he fought and blew up a demon) or lie (that he was training and misused a jutsu - essentially causing it to blow up in his face. That's what you got from switching from Samurai to Ninja). Finally, the little devil on his shoulder won the contest.

"Oh nothing much..." he said dully. "Just blowing up some stuff."

"Ahh... What'd you blow up, Iruka?" he sweat-dropped. Probably thinking that he HAD actually misused another jutsu (not on purpose, of course). It was something that Iruka had been known to do every now then.

"Demons." The smelly demon had acually been two demons fused together. Iruka desperatly held the grin off his face as he continued on mundanly. "I blew up demons. Have you ever blown up a demon, Kotetsu? No? Well, you should sometime. It's fun. The just go up in flames like no tomorrow." He walked past the stunned guard. "See you later."

Kotetsu worked his jaw as he stared after the brown skinned chuunin. What the hell?

The academy teachergrinned like a twelve yr old idiot for the breifest of seconds as he walked away. Heh, he hadn't pulled something like that in a while. Maybe he should do it more often... But not to often. People might start remembering his younger days if he did it too much. But the stuffy old people deserved what they got coming to them, he figured.Iruka remembered thinking, whenever he yelled at Naruto for doing some stupid prank or another, Yes! Good job, Naruto! Next try blowing up a bathroom in the mission building - I might get a day off finally!

He'd do it himself, but his pranking days were behind him. The dolphins thoughts turned towards a certain jutsu... or maybe they weren't. Though, he'd have to avoid certain people to get away with that one, though. Those certain people namely being everyone in the villiage - especially Kurenai and Anko - who both had an uncanny habbit of knowing when he was about topull one overon some poor unfortunant soul. Iruka hoped that they had outgrown that skill if he was to pull this off.

Oh, and he'd have to avoid Naruto as well. He might be able to identify him via smell...

"Iruka-sensei!" Well, speak of the devil - er, Kyuubi-vessel...

"Naruto." he sighed. He knew what was coming...

"CAN WE GO GET RAMEN?" the blond ball of energy tackled the dolphin-sensei, sending them the both clattering to the ground.

"Not tonight." ...And there was no way it was going to happen.

Not to mention the fact that he'd burnt his wallet to a crisp when he was blowing up certain smelly demons. Why he had his wallet with him? He didn't really know...

"Awe... Why not!"

"Because I'm tired, and sore, and I'm broke at the moment, I smell, I want a shower -"

"AAH! Al right! I get the point!" The blond fox took a big whiff. "You really do smell..."

Gee, thanks alot kid.

"Hey! You smell like that demon that nearly ate Sasuke earlier!" Iruka sat up so fast that Naruto tumbled off him in a heap. He stared hard at the blond. Naruto fidgeted.

"Ano..."

"What happened?" Naruto blinked.

"Well... We we're coming back from a mission... Then we met this guy - he's really old." Naruto remembered his promise to Washitaka. He didn't say anymore about the whacky jounin. "Then, earlier today, this big smelly thing came out of no where and tried to eat Sasuke! And then, the new guy, he blew it away with this really cool jutsu that's almost like my rasengan, but it's alot louder..."

"Naruto..."

"Heh, right, on with the story! And then we ran away, and that's it."

"That's it?"

"Yeap! Since you smell like the demon, does that mean you saw it, too?" the gennin asked excitedly. "What happened?"

It almost squashed me and then I blew it up... does that count as seeing it? Iruka thought to himself.

"..." Again with the dillemas on wether or not to tell the truth. He looked down at Naruto's expectant face and sighed.

"Yes, I saw your demon... But we can't talk about here!" he added quickly, slapping a hand over Naruto's mouth. "Later, okay?" The blond pre-teen shook his head energetically, and Iruka let out a sigh. "Good, I'm hungry"

"I thought you were tired?"

"That too." Heflopped back down andlooked up towards the roof tops. "You can come over to if you want Sasuke."

"Huh?" Naruto looked up as well. "Hey, Teme!"

"Dobe."

Sure enough, jumping down from the roof was the only surviving member of the Uchiha clan himself. ((a/n: Apart from Itachi - but he doesn't really count because he killed everyone in the first place. duh)) Sasuke landed on the ground a few feet away from where Naruto sat and Iruka was sprawled once more on the ground. For once, the prince of angst decided that being alone that night was not high on his list of priorities - plus, he wanted to hear about Iruka-sensei's encounter with the demon.

Iruka spaced out on the ground, he sensed something VERY familiar closing in fast.

Ah, shit... It was too late to run. That didn't leave him too many options - aha! That would work! He turned his attention back to the gennin's.

"Al right." he said urgently while looking around wildly. Not much time. "I need you guys to jump in my shadow."

"Huh? Have you lost your mind Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked skeptically. The dolphin sensei snapped his head and stared in one direction. Gotcha.

"No time!" He grabbed the kyuubi by the scruff of the neck and tossed him in his shadow. "In you go!" The blond child dissapeared into the blackness. He turned to Sasuke and gestured - but found that the sharingan user had already jumped into the shadow.

"CHIBI!" yelled a voice.

"ACK! Run away!" The brown skinned chuunin dived into his own shadow and dissapeared.

**(Out side the shadow)**

"Damn... I hate it when he does that..." Washitaka grumbled and scuffed at the ground with his big toe, looking like the overgrown and very pouty child that he was.

"I'll get you yet, you scared nosed little brat... Mwahahaa..."

* * *

**Authors Notes: Well, isn't that interesting! I updated! AWESOME!**

**I'm really really really sorry if there are a whole bunch of misspelled words, puncuating errors, editing mistakes, and the like. Mom's laptop doesn't have a spell check on it - wordpad only. Which sucks. What'd you think? HA! Tsunade got what she got. Mwahahaha...**

**XDDD Now, I'm off to work on the next chapter! One the shitty wordpad! MWAH!**

**Bomb-O-Maniac**


	7. PreEvacuation what a boring chapter

**Chapter Seven**

**Bomb-O-Maniac**

**

* * *

**

Iruka sighed as he flopped down onto his couch after clearing out the spare room for Sasuke. He and Naruto usually shared the main room (him on the roll out futon and Naruto on the bed). So Washitaka-sensei was back, eh? Well, that sucked great big monkey -

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto jumped over the back of the couch and landed on top of his ex-sensei. "I'm hungryyyyyyyyyy!"

Iruka blinked. Nothing new there. Naruto some times had the mind of a goldfish. Which, at the moment, Iruka was grateful for, because that meant that he didn't have to explain anything that had happened not ten, fifteen minutes ago.

"Saa… there's ramen in the cupboard, help yourself -but don't burn my kitchen down - again!" Iruka shut his eyes against the memory. He didn't think his poor kitchen could stand another fire.

"Yesh!" Naruto laughed as he vaulted off the sensei and back over couch, heading towards the kitchen (and nearly running Sasuke over in the process). The Uchiha just glared at the orange ball of energy for a brief second before continuing on to the large lazy boy (a gift from Anko, Kotetsu, and Izumo) and making himself comfortable. He looked around the room. It was just like Iruka-sensei. Nice. '_Or better put, polite, no, misleading.'_ Sasuke thought as he caught sight of a decorated yet obviously fully functional twin swords hanging on the wall. He glanced back at Iruka-sensei and smirked. He'd obviously either fallen asleep, or was very good at faking it.

'_probably doesn't want to answer questions.'_ Sasuke thought_. 'Well, I'll just get them in the morning then.'_

A sudden crashing noise from the kitchen area made him look up. Then there were more crashes followed by a big 'OWE!'. The Sharingan user felt his eye twitch violently.

Iruka snorted in his 'sleep', and made no move to get up.

Sasuke sighed and decided that he'd better get up to check on the dead last.

He made no move to get up.

"Hey… Iruka-sensei! Sasuke? Could someone help me?"

Silence.

"Hellooooo?"

Silence.

"Anybody?" Sigh.

"This sucks." Sigh.

"I think my legs are falling asleep - OUCH! Yeap, they are…"

Slowly, the lone survivor of the Uchiha clan eyes began to droop. Not a few minutes longer, he fell asleep completely.

* * *

_**(On top the Hokage's monument)**_

Washitaka sat on top of the Hokage's monument and stared at the stars. Or lack there of. He'd begun to take that as a bad omen.

Probably something he'd picked up from the Hoshigakure. There were always stars out down there. He'd been there once when there were no stars nor moon out, and after that night, he'd come to fully agree with the seemingly paranoid people. An empty night was a bad thing indeed. He took a deep breath of clean air and exhaled. He gathered up his chakra and began to release it in a snaky line into the sky. The jounin watched the orange chakra drift sky high and mingle with the celestial winds above. He took pride in the fact that he was sensitive enough to see the spiritual energies en masse against the velvety blackness with out the use of a Jutsu.

The passing energies wouldn't do any harm to Konoha, or anyone, or anything. Though, if one had the right kind of power or means… they could take that energy and channel it for darker purposes.

Washitaka thanked all his lucky stars and then some that Orochimaru never knew any of this.

He focused his gaze on the brightest point of energy in the sky. That was strange. It shouldn't be blocking up all in one spot… It should all be raging and smooth, intricate and simple, elegant and plain, beautiful and ugly. NOT balled up in one spot. The shaggy haired man furrowed his brow in thought. There was a feeling in the air. Not good or bad per se, but more the feeling of counting down to something.

Washitaka felt a strange sense of déjà vu wash over him.

"I'm imagining things again." he muttered under his breath. "It's late, you're tired, go get some shut eye so you'll have enough energy to harass the chibi tomorrow…"

He eyed the lights once more and began to pull his refreshed chakra back into him.

"I'll think more on this tomorrow."

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**_(Hoshigakure) (earlier)_**

The red headed general of Hoshigakure found himself conducting the evacuation procedures and announcements after he and the rest of the counsel finished with the Hokage. The other two had left them to him because (as the Tsukikage so eloquently put it) he had turned being blunt into an art form worthy of the gods. The General faced the gathered people.

They had lost many people to an epidemic not to long ago. Young, old, middle aged… those completely healthy had died from mysterious reasons. Over half the population had been whipped out before the medics had discovered (quite on accident, but that doesn't really mater) that it had been poisoning. And not just regular poisoning. One demonic in origin, and one that had never been seen before on this side of the rift.

Thus, the powers that be decided that something fishy was going on, and sent out some scouts to the Cave of Wendova to check on the doorway to demon world.

The scouts had come back with a hoard of D and C class demons hot on their tails.

Only coclusion, the artifacts keeping the barrier intact had been destroyed.

Or stolen. But they didn't really want to think about that at the moment. Finally, the general cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak.

"Alright, listen up!" he roared over the din. "Most of you have already noticed that some of your comrades have already ecavuated the city! And most of you probably already know why, so I'm just going to come right out and tell you anyways. The Barrier inbetween worlds has been broken. So basically if we all stay here, we're all doomed." Behind him, one of his minions snorted. "Those that have already left, left for the Suna(sand) and others for the caves that we have prepared for emergencies like this." He stopped to let all this sink in.

"As of right now, we're officially begining the evacuation process. Starting tomorrow morning, the rest of us are going to make our way for the Konohagakure(konoha). They've been our allies for a while now, plus they've had experiance with demons before. Go home and pack only what's light enough to cary. Once you're ready, report to the main gate!" With that said, he turned around to face his minions. In reality, nno many were atually _his_ minions, but they still listened to him, for that he was thankfull. He nodded to them.

"I'd start preparing if I were you. Report back for more orders when you've finished." The warriors, mostly men and women in their twenties through early forties and seasoned in battles with all kinds of monsters, left with out a word. Except one.

"General?"

The red head turned to face Master Garn's heir, Umino Mar. He was a tall man with a youthfull face, tanned skin, and long dark hair tied back into a ponty tail. Mar, unlike the Hoshigakure counsel and like the rest of the numerous warriors, wore a hitai-ate band on his person. In Mar's case, around his forehead.

"Umino." He said, smiling slightly. The general had a feeling he knew what was on the others mind. "What can I do for you? Ah, no wait, I know..." he held up his hand to his forehead and 'mmmmmmmmmmm'd. "Ah! You wish to know where and why I sent Kagami, yes?"

A nod.

"She's off to the sand."

"Why?"

"You're smart - figure it out! No, don't give me that look - fiiiine... She went there to make sure our people got there alright, to make sure it's alright for them to actually stay there, to warn them, ask for a few reinforcements just in case... other politcal junk like that."

"No, no - I ment, why did you have to send her?" The general blinked. 'He sounds like he just lost his best friend.' he thought 'Not surprising.'

"Because she's the fastest, even with out the aid of chakra like the ninja, or spirit energy like yourself - including your shadow teleport things..., or special bloodlines, or whatever." Mar raised an eyebrow.

"That's the reason?"

"No, thank god, but it's most of it. Another is because she handles politcal junk better than I can, she's strong, scary, the kazekage is particularly fond of her for some odd reason..." Mar pouted and slumped over, looking uterly dejected.

For a second, the general felt a pang of pity, but then let go of it. Both Mar and Kagami were grown, somewhat mature adults, fairly known and respected, feared by enemies (who actually took them seriosly) - they didn't have to act like little kids everytime one was seperatted from the other. He shook his head and watched as mar trudged away forlornly. He decided then to take the other mans mind off his temporary loss.

"Yo, Umino!" he called after him. "You're taking the first troupe out tomorrow morning so you had better be ready for it!" Mar froze.

"What!" General smirked.

"Weeeeell... I thought, who better to lead the way through a demon infested country than one of the strongest demon hunters we have?" He paused. "Not including my large, bald friend... He wants to stay here to make sure nothing gets us before we make it out. So naturally, you're the next best choice. Not to mention you've been to the fire country a few times, so that makes it easier." Mar visibly wilted. Couldn't argue with that kind of flattery - um, logic.

"I'm, er, honered, sir." 'Dooooooooooooooomed...' Mar thought 'We're all doooooooooooomed...'

A small being (no larger than Naruto) vaulted down from the top of one of the buildings nearby.

"Find out what happened to Mi-chan?" It asked.

"Yea, she went off to paly in the sand..." he answered dully. Ryuu patted its guardian on the arm.

"Don't worry. I met Gaara once, he's not all that bad... apart from the love tattoo, and the sand, and his sister is almost as scary as Mi-chan..." it stopped. "Alright, so maybe you do have to worry."

"You're so much help, ninja-brat." Ryuu grinned.

"I know! Now, LET'S GO GET SOME RAMEN!"

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Umino Mar - Lord of the Sea

Ryuu - Dragon

Chikara Kagami - Warrior/Mirror Force

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Authors Notes: Sorry for the delay n.n I was preocccupied with other stuff.

There are somethings I noticed that might be a bit confusing (they confused me abit) - I thought I should explain them abit.

1) Iruka - Originally, he was from the Moon Country. Was trained as a samurai and in the use of spirit energy. His parents were demon hunters. They answered the Hokage's call for help durring the Kyuubi war. His parent's died along with the Hokage when the Kyuubi was sealed inside Naruto. Since Konoha had no room for a samurai, Sandaime allowed him to attend the academy and learn to become a ninja, and to use chakra. He inherited his family's dragon - so he's got a dragon in him. Shadows.

2) Hunter - Being a hunter is based on your fighting skills. Therefore, you don't have to be the best ninpou user, just able to whipe the floors with bad guys. So it doesn't matter if you're known for screwing up and accidently blowing stuff up.

3) Chakra and Spirit Energy - Chakra is made out of the combination of Life energy and Spirit Energy. If you run out of Chakra you die. Why? Because when you run out of chakra, you run out of Life energy. As a samurai and demon hunter they are trained in the use of Spirit Energy. If you run out of that, you are left with just life energy and there fore can fight on. SE is also a purer form of energy, thus untainted and therefore stronger. The higher your spirit energy and/or life energy, the stronger you are, in any energy. Ninja's train their life energy more than spirit, and because of that they are not very efficient against demons. Anyone who uses their life energy as a weapon is an idiot and is going to die.

4) Demon Hunters and Samura - Normal samurai are generally looked down upon as evil. Hoshigakure Samurai are of a differant breed, with differant techniques and morals. Demon Hunters are... well, they specialize in demons. But do work in teams with the ninja and samurai.

5) Ryuu - an it. Genderbender. Think Haku and that one Akatsuki member... Ninja. Panther.

6) Mar and Mi-chan - Umino Mar and Chikara Kagami. Demon hunter and Samurai. Mar is 27 Mi-chan is 25. They worked together in a three man cell with Iruka when yougner. Another dragon and wolf, respectivly.

7) Hoshigakure Hitae-ate - If you're a fighter, you get a headband. Ninja or not. An upside down crescent moon is the symbol. -snickers- Originally it was a star, but that wasn't very original, so i changed it. So if you see my drawings on DeviantArt, they're wrong.

I OWN MY IDEA'S! BWAH! No stealing - unless you tell me first.

Any questions?

Bomb-O-Maniac


	8. I'll title it later

**Chapter Eight**

**Bomb-O-Maniac**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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**Kaoro: **XDD how's that for waiting for the next chapter, eh? I'm glad you like my fan fiction… and as for the yaoi - that all depends. I could write yaoi. If I tried… maybe… I dunno

**Name: **Iruka didn't go home 'cuz he's an idiot… no, just kiddin'. He didn't go home because with demon vessels, you have to have at least two together to keep each other sane. For example, the reason why Gaara is a psychotic murderer is because he's the only one in the sand. 'Ruka, Mar, and Mi-chan are sane because they're all vessels. 'Ruka stayed so Naruto would go berserk (like Gaara).

**shinycry: **I love you XD you actually like my story -sobs- and you're one of my best reviewers, unlike certain peoples who shall remain nameless -glares at people- you know who you are… For that, you shall get a reward -grins- how's a cameo appearance sound? I'm glad you like Mar's name! Mar's so cool -hugs Mar plushie

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**(Night sometime)**

On the edge of the sand country a woman with red violet hair stood breathing deeply. She was staring at up at the inky darkness. Like Washitaka, she to was watching the astral lines in the sky and wondering. Unlike Washitaka, she was only taking a short break. On her way, the woman had noticed the increase in demon population. She wasn't an optimist, but she hoped that her people had made it to the Sunagakure safely. Shaking herself slightly she looked around her surroundings. Something was out there. She could feel the bloodlust radiating towards her.

A sudden rumbling underneath alerted her, and she leapt backwards. Where she once stood, a large leathery looking worm like thing protruded from the ground. It's mouth was snapping shut forcefully and repeatedly. Her eyes narrowed sharply as she caught sight of something hanging from its mouth. It was the upper torso of someone she recognized from her village. The wind picked up in her anger, sands swirled in the air.

The demon turned its large eyeless head towards her. It made an echoing noise. Answering calls were heard in the darkness.

Hell hath no fury like a woman's wrath.

**(Morning, Konohagakure)**

Morning peaked in Konoha crimson and red. As one who grew up where old wives tales were usually true, Iruka figured that blood had been shed the night before. And judging from the dull ache in his chest, he figured that it was probably by someone he knew. But then... he had to wonder who it was. As far as he knew... Anko was sleeping off a hangover, Kotetsu and Izumo were... off harassing someone, and Naruto was sleeping in his room.

It had been entertaining for him to wake up in the middle of the night (from a dull ache in his chest), stumble into the kitchen, and see Naruto lying the middle of the floor, stuck underneath a chair in a very compromising situation, and with dry ramen spilled everywhere. He had stood there staring at the site for full thirty seconds before breaking down and snickering at his beloved student. Of course, he had scolded himself (after he had taken a few photo's - good black mail) about not being not acting very teacher like, and had set about cleaning up the mess and putting Naruto to bed. Iruka had also put Sasuke to bed, during which he'd found that the Uchiha looked adorable when he was asleep (and took a few more pictures, just for the hell of it).

After trying to fall back asleep and failing drastically, he'd finally found himself on the roof. Where he stayed for the rest of the night until dawn.

"When you fail to see the moon and it's children on any night, be it cloudy or cloudless - we know that something isn't right in the world. The balance is off. It may not be here - it could be anywhere - but somewhere, something bad is about to happen..."

He continued to stare at the red sky. Who else did he know would be shedding blood... No-non's didn't really count. Lessee... His thoughts wandered as the sun continued to set fire to the sky.

Fire.

Demons.

Blown up demons...

Iruka blinked as the wind shifted suddenly, and he remembered. Yea. The only other people he knew that could cause his soul to ache like it was at the moment that weren't in Konoha... were his cousin, Mar, and his best friend, Kagami. And his parents - but they were already dead.

Those closest will always hold a place in your heart. Your friends, yourself, you are special - bonded in ways you can only guess - always able to feel each others presence, to feel what they feel - even from miles away - emotions, pain..."

The young man frowned and rubbed his chest again. Which ever one it was. They sure were pissed. He sighed and flopped back on the roof, letting the sun warm him. How did one calm down a very angry friend from miles and miles away?

Oh no, make that two friends now. One angry (the feeling had simmered down allot from when he'd been woken by the feeling) and the other stressed. What the hell was going on?

-

**Thump**

**Thump**

**Thud**

**Crash** (oh, the poor, poor roof - I wonder if he has insurance?)A single bright ray of sunshine crept into Sasuke's room and illuminated some random dust bunny trying valiantly to win the battle against the Uchiha's evil, carnivorous socks. The battle paused for a second at the sound of the crash, but then resumed as if nothing ever happened."DAMN IT! Aren't you supposed to be out getting yourself killed or something!" Iruka's voice yelled out. He sounded rather irritated at the moment, and the newly awakened brunette sleepily wondered… why? "Can't you just leave me alone!"

"No! How dare you insinuate that I'm always out to get myself killed!-" '_Well, that's probably a good reason'_ Sasuke thought to himself dully, mind slowly being taken back over with sleep.

"Because you have a death wish?"

"And I could never stop bugging you chibi -"

"Don't call me that…" Iruka snapped.

And Sasuke fell back asleep.

**(Main gate, Hoshigakure)**

Mar rubbed his chest, mimicking his younger cousin miles away, and frowned. He did not need to deal with an angry friend at the moment. Who ever the calm one was, he hoped they could deal with it. He was already stressed enough. _'Doooooooooooooooomed...'_ the back of his mind whined.

"Something wrong?"

"Hmm?" Mar glanced at the General. "No, I'm fine." The other nodded

"Good to hear that."

"Mmm." He stopped rubbing his chest and turned to Ryuu. "Ready to go ninja-brat?"

"Hell yea!" The blue black haired youth shouted and pumped it's fist in the air. It grinned brightly up at it's father figure. "You think they'll have ramen in Konoha?"

Mar laughed and ruffled the gennins hair.

"Trust me kid, the only reason Konoha is still around is _because_ they have ramen." He smirked at the thought of all the damage his cousin Iruka would have done if they didn't have ramen. Ooooh, the horrors galore. A berserk demon fox would have been nothing compared to a young dragon with out his ramen.

The twelve year old accepted this answer with another grin, gave Mar a quick hug, and then raced off to join it's gennin team. The demon hunter watched it run off and then turned his attention back to the general. _'Doooooooooooooooomed…' _

"Ready?" The red head asked. Mar nodded.

"The faster we get there…" he smirked and threw the older man a sly glance. General eyed him warily.

"The faster what?" he prompted the other dragon vessel. Said dragon grinned.

"Nothing… just… faster…"

"Riiiiiiiight…."

A few beats later -

"You think they have to latest Icha Icha Paradise out?"

"They shoooould… It was due to come out a few months ago - but our stores -" the general stopped , and then laughed out loud. "I guess this explains why Walden's never had the next edition out. None of the orders ever came through!"

"Uh-huh…" Mar blinked suddenly and stared at the general. "I never knew you read those!"

"Huh? Wha? Oh yea… heheheheee…"

The two perverts stared at each other. One slightly unnerved with his newfound information and the other just plain… Riiiiiiiight.

"Er, maybe I should gooo now…" Mar inched away, before turning and sprinting off towards the front of the troupe. He had a feeling that now would be a good time to head off for Konoha.

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Authors Notes: Okay that was short and annoying. But who cares? I updated. Live with it beeches.**

**God, that was so short. Sorry, can't write anymore at the moment - have to leave for road trip in a few minutes sooo... yea...**

**The next chapter shold be dealing something with people finally arriving at Konoha or Suna or whatever -grins- later.**

**-----------**

**Random AOL conversation**

**JM06: dooooooooooom**

**RSD: doom **

**JM06: doom**

**RSD: doometh **

**JM06: dooomed**

**RSD: doomy **

**JM06: doomer**

**RSD: dooming **

**JM06: doomesk**

**RSD: doomar **

**RSD: sounds like a name for a guy **

**JM06: XD yea**

**RSD: XD yeah **

**Bomb-O-Maniac (PRESS THE FRIGGIN PURPLE BUTON DAMN IT!)**


	9. Chapter 9 preview

**Chapter Nine Preview **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and comp. I do own everything else though. Except Shinycry's cameo which isn't in this preview…**

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Gaara was an insomniac. A crazy psycho bastard. A nutcase that likes to kill shit. A killer with a demons voice in his head.

Yes. We all know this.

But what we also don't all know, is that there is a reason for this…

Other than his father.

How do I explain this. You see… It's a very bad thing to infuse a being with a demon if you plan on keeping him isolated, and if there aren't any other demon vessels around. It's kinda like how aren't supposed to leave people with depression alone, or they might do something drastic, like kill themselves, or go insane. A difference, though, is that the demon imbued inside them will eventually take over the humans psyche, and eventually taking over completely.

The way to prevent this from happening is by having him/her around another demon vessel. The being housing the vessel must also have a strong mind and will to keep the demon at bay. When alone, it usually ranges from three days to a few months before they start to feel the affect of the demon taking it's toll.

I guess it also depends on the demon as well. Dragons are known to be more laid back and agreeable - and arguably one of the more powerful demon races. Foxes do not react well to cages and are vengeful beings. They will do almost anything within the limits of their cunning to be free to wreak havoc once more. Sharks…. Can be satisfied with a ritual sacrifice every few months - but be warned, they're kinda bloody sacrifices. Tanuki's are possibly the most disagreeable. Conformist's all the way. Wolves… do not like to be in cages just like their cousins the fox. A difference between them is that where the fox is cunning, wit, looks, and sharp, sharp claws - the wolf is wisdom, brawn, and an elegance. Panthers are… like dragons really. Mysterious to the nth, but playful. Like foxes (only their playfulness hurts…) and frogs. Only… frogs aren't nearly as mysterious. Crude, crude creatures those frogs are…

That would be why Gaara is partially insane. He was alone.

That would be why Naruto is the way he is. He had Iruka. Who, when he saw that Naruto had the nine tails, he stayed. He knew the dangers of leaving a lone demon vessel alone.

Which would be why Zabuza went rogue. -See ritual bloody sacrifices-

Which is why Iruka was sane. Before he had his team - Mar, Kagami. Now, he had Naruto.

Which was why, whenever the Kazekage was away, a vessel from the moon was sent in to keep the squirt company. And when Gaara became Kazekage, they came more frequently. His favorite (which he would never admit under pain of death) being the wolf vessel, Kagami, who was something as a surrogate mother/aunt. She put even the infallible Baki to shame, and was seen also as an older sister to Temari (who needed another woman in her life) and Kankuro who despite everything, also viewed the woman as a mother/aunt figure.

Gaara liked her best, because she let him sleep.

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The young Kazekage stared out at the rising sun. It was one of his favorite times of day, not that anyone knew that. They wouldn't get close enough to figure it out. Besides… As long as he kept the village safe - who cared?

He let out an imperceptible sigh and let his thoughts wander. Temari and Kankuro were asleep. Baki was dead. Shukaku… was quiet for once, contemplating something…

So he was all alone. Even in his own head. He would have laughed out loud at the irony of it, but didn't. Maybe he just needed a vacation.

A slight gust of wind caressed his face, and the morning light kissed his skin. He shut his eyes and soaked up the morning suns warmth.

_**Gaara…**_

He furrowed his brow but his eyes remained shut. Some one was calling him.

_**Open your eyes kid…**_ The wind seemed to whisper.

So Gaara obeyed.

"Hi kid." The red-violet haired figured smirked. "We've got some problems, so you might wanna go wake your brother up. I'll take your sister."

So Gaara did.

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**Authors note:**

**And so ends the preview for the next chapter…**

**Lol**

**DOOM!**

**Bomb-O-Maniac**


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